英语好的人请进~ 帮我看一下我翻译的句子是否有语法错误？

Question

When I was fourteen in the summer,I remembered it was a heavy rain someday.My classmates held their umbrellas and went to our school at afternoon.My umbrella broken by my classmates ,I looked it,my heart was very pained.Two boys laughted at me and came over and said:"You are so funny when you was the rain.we will take you a photograp .we will stick it on our school gate tomorrow." It was shamed by me since that,I was living death every day.

（ 中文）在我14岁的那年夏天，我记得有一天下了一场很大的雨，在下午同学们都撑着伞陈群结队地离开了学校，我看着那把被同学们糟蹋过的破伞，心里一阵剧痛。2个男孩嘲笑着向我走来说：“你被雨淋湿的样子真好笑，让我为你拍张照，明天贴在学校门口。”他们走后我痛苦了，我别他们羞辱了，我天天过着生不如死的样子。

Answer 1

有问题，语法句式都有。修改下：i remembered when i was 14, and one day of summer, it rained heavily. all my classmates left after class with umberllas together. but when i found my poor one was broken by them, i felt painful inside. two boys came to tease me. they said: it was so funny of u in rain. let me take a photo of you and put it at our schoolgate tomorrow morning! i was even sad when they were gone because i was humilated by them and lived my day all like this.

Answer 2

典型中式翻译啊，注意一下用英语思维表达

Answer 3

太直接了点。。。第一句不通可以改为that summer when i was fourteen ,下面的翻得不怎么通顺 从my umbrella那有明显语法错误，主语不一致。

Answer 4

中译英并不是每个单词都要翻译出来的，达意更重要。
I still remember the summer of my fourteen.One day,it rained heavily.And in the afternoon,all students headed for the school gate with their unbrella except for me.With great pain, I stared at my broken umbrella which had been destroyed by my classmates, At the moment,two boys approached and mocked to me,"It's so funny that you get wet with rain.Let's take a photo for you and attach it to the school gate tomorrow!" After they had gone,I felt hurt with a sense of humiliation.Those days,I was just about living death .