请人修改下英语作文(很重要的.求你们了!)

Question

作文要求的是写给一个外国朋友的信,邀请他在16界亚运会时过来参观和游玩广州.本人初中生.请指出语法错误.拼写错误和文章结构上等不足.可以举出替换的句子.谢谢
明天就要交了,这篇作文十分重要,请大家帮个忙,谢谢你们了!
采纳者必定追加!
虽然文章篇幅较长,现在也发上去时也很晚了.但请求各位老师也好,大学生也好,等学士分子们能帮下忙.如果能,真是感激不尽.
直到5月6日6时前来的及,希望晚上就能送上来.

现在抽取一部分(太长了)

Guangzhou is a modern city with 2000 years history. There are different cultures in different places in the city. You will be amazed by that colourful cultures. The famous shopping views in Guangzhou are Teemall and Shang xia jiuCommercial Pedestrian Street ----one is a modern shopping centre, the other is one of the oldest streets in Guangzhou. They are quite different. In Teemall, you can see many modern entertainment facilities, for example, you can play the video games and play bumper car in it. If you want to do some shopping, you can go into some shops.There are full of latest fashions, and you can buy some daily necessities in the supermarket. Sometimes you will find some cheap ones if you are lucky. When you feel hungry, you can go to a restaurant to eat some delicious food. However, when you walk on Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street, it is a big culture shock for you.Walking pass and you well see many old buildings on both side of the streets. These buildings were builded in 1930s.They show you what was old Guangzhou like. There are man small shops on the first floor of the building.They sell some interesting and traditional commodities. And you can try some dim-sum----the famous and delicious food in Guangzhou. You will like it.

Answer 1

Guangzhou is a modern city with 2000 years history ï¼ˆa history of 2000 years）. There are different cultures in different places in the city.( Different areas in this city have different cultures.) You will be amazed by that colourful (the variety of )cultures. The famous shopping views(places) in Guangzhou are Teemall and Shang xia jiu Commercial Pedestrian Street ----(the former )one is a modern shopping centre, the (later one) other is one of the oldest streets in Guangzhou. They are quite different. In Teemall, you can see many modern entertainment facilities, for example, you can play the video games and play bumper car in it. If you want to do some shopping, you can go into some shops, (thousands of shops would meet your needs) There are full of latest fashions, and you can buy some daily necessities in the supermarket. Sometimes you will find some cheap ones if you are lucky. When you feel hungry, you can go to a restaurant to eat some delicious food. However, when you walk on Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street, it is a big culture shock for you.Walking pass (the street) and you well(will) see many old buildings on both side(sides) of the streets. These buildings were builded in (the)1930s.They show you what was (the)old Guangzhou like. There are man (many) small shops on the first floor of the building.They sell some interesting and traditional commodities. And you can try some dim-sum----the famous and delicious food in Guangzhou. You will like it.

Answer 2

Guangzhou is a modern city with a history of 2000 years. There are different cultures in different places in the city. You will be amazed by that colorful cultures. The famous shopping malls in Guangzhou are Teemall and Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street ---- one is a modern shopping center, the other is one of the oldest streets in Guangzhou. They are quite different. In Teemall, you can see many modern entertainment facilities. For example, you can play video games and drive bumper cars in it. If you want to do some shopping, you can go into some shops.They are full of latest fashions, and you can buy some daily necessities in the supermarket as well. Sometimes you will find some cheap ones if you are lucky. When you feel hungry, you can go to a restaurant to eat some delicious food. However, when you walk on the Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street, it will give you a big culture shock. Walking along the street, you will see many old buildings on both sides. These buildings were built in 1930s.They show you what old Guangzhou was like. There are many small shops on the first floor in most of the buildings.They sell some interesting and traditional commodities. And you can try some dim-sum ---- the famous and delicious food in Guangzhou. You will like it.

Answer 3

Guangzhou is a modern city with a history of 2000 years. There are different cultures in different places in the city. You will be amazed by that colourful cultures. The famous shopping attractions in Guangzhou are the Teemall and Shang xia jiu Commercial Pedestrian Street ----one is a modern shopping centre, the other one the oldest street in Guangzhou. They are quite different. In Teemall, you can see many modern entertainment facilities, for example, you can play video games and play bumper cars. If you want to do some shopping, you can visit some shops.There are full of the latest fashions, and you can buy some daily necessities in the supermarket too. Sometimes you will find some cheap ones if you are lucky. When you feel hungry, you can go to a restaurant to have some delicious food. However, when you walk on Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street, it is a big culture shock for you.Walking along the streets, you will see many old buildings on both sides. These buildings were built in 1930s.They show you what the old Guangzhou looks like. There are many small shops on the first floor of the building.They sell some interesting and traditional commodities. And you can try some dim-sum----the famous and delicious food in Guangzhou. You will like it.

Answer 4

Guangzhou is a modern city with 2000 years' history. You will be amazed by that colourful cultures that can be found here . Teemall and Shang xia jiuCommercial Pedestrian Street are the most famous shopping centres in Guangzhou. However,they are different in a way that one is a modern shopping centre and the other is one of the oldest streets in Guangzhou. If you are looking for modern entertainment facilities, you have to go to our Teemall. You will also be entertained by the latest fashions in others stores.Beside these,daily necessities is also available in the supermarket. When you are lucky,you will be able to purchase goods at cheap prices! Delicious food are available at any time in the restaurant whenever you feel hungry.
Walking along the Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street,you will be surorised to find so many old buildings on both side of the streets. They were builded in 1930s and best represents how was Guangzhou in the olden days. On the first floor of the building,stores selling traditional commodities and you can have a try of our delicious dim-sum,which is a famous food in Guangzhou,I am sure that you will love it's yammy taste!

帮你都改了。
大致上的缺点是：太过于死板，基本上只是把表面上的东西写出来。作文的话就是要写人家所不知道的一面，你的介绍是属于那种无法吸引人的。（虽然不好听但这是实话）所以，你如果要写这类的文，必须把最好玩最独特的地方写出来，不要只描写表面。
还有，句子连贯性不够，每句都是单独分开，没有用到像and，besides等连接词。
不过单词量挺够，语法也没有特别大的错误。继续加油吧

Answer 5

没错

Answer 6

Guangzhou is a modern city with 2000 years of history. Colorful and diverse cultures reside in different places in the city. The famous shopping views in Guangzhou are Teemall, a modern shopping centre, and Shang xia jiu Commercial Pedestrian Street, one of the oldest streets in Guangzhou. In Teemall, you can see many modern entertainment facilities such as video games and bumper cars. Many shops are there to satisfy your shopping desire with an abundance of of latest fashions. You can buy daily necessities in the supermarket as well. Luck is not needed to find cheap ones; there are plenty of them. When you feel hungry, you can go to a restaurant to eat some delicious food. However, when you walk on Shangxiajiu Commercial Pedestrian Street, it is a big culture shock for you where you can see many old buildings on both side of the streets on walk. These buildings were built in 1930s in which the old Guangzhou is mirrored. There are many small shops on the first floor of the building.They sell some interesting and traditional commodities. And you will want to try some dim-sum----the renownedly delicious food in Guangzhou. You will like it.