急！谁能把这篇文章翻译成英文？？非常感谢了！！！

Question

第一次，我下夜班回家，已经很晚了，我在卫生间洗嗽，忽然听到门口有动静。好象是有人在门口撬我的锁。于是我大喝一声：“谁，干什么？”谁知道那贼却在门口答道：这么晚了还不睡觉，搞什么搞。说完就没有声音了。我一时不知所措……
第二次，我白天在家休息，正在上网的时候，忽然听到厨房有声音传过来，我轻轻的走过去一看，原来是个小偷撬我的防盗门窗。我抽出一把菜刀走过去对他说：“你要干什么，再不走我就报警。”那贼不慌不忙地收起工具，然后对我甩出一句话：“你有病呀，家里有人，做个声呀！害的老子白忙活了半天。”说罢转身走了。我哭笑不得……

第三次，我一个人在街上散步，一个十五，六岁的小男孩掏我的衣服口袋，我转过脸对他说：小孩，掏什么。“废话，当然是钱了”小孩答道。我看他是小孩子，就吓唬他说：“我没有钱，你不用再来掏，要不然送你去公安局。”小孩瞪了我一眼说：“你没有钱，还凶什么凶！”说完气呼呼地走了，我一时气的说不出话来！

Answer 1

The first time, I came home from night duty, it was already very late, I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom when I heard a noise from the door. It sounded like someone was prying at my lock. I shouted: “Who's that? What are you doing?" Who would have thought the burglar replied from outside: “Still up at this hour, what the hell." There silence after that. I was at a loss for a moment……

The second time, I was resting at home in the day, while I was surfing the internet, suddenly I heard a noise from the kitchen, I walked softly over to take a look, it was a burglar trying to pry over my anti-burglar windows. I picked up a chopping knife and walked over: “What do you want, I'll call the police if you don't leave immediately." The burglar kept his tool unhurriedly, and said, "you're crazy, if there's someone in the house, make some sound! Made me work for nothing." With those words he left, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh……

The third time, I was taking a stroll on the street alone, a boy around fifteen or sixteen years old was picking my pocket, I turned around and said: "kid, what are you doing." "Money of course" the boy replied. I say that he was only a child, and threatened: "I have no money, stop picking or I'll send you to the police station." The boy stared at me and said: "you have no money, what's there to be fierce about!" He left in anger after that, and I was left speechless……

Answer 2

First, I go home Coming off night duty, was already very late at my room to wash cough, all of a sudden the door to hear there is movement. As if someone at the door are my prized locks. So I Giving a loud shout: "Who, what?" Who knows but at the door That thief replied: do not go to bed so late, engage in any so-called. Finished on the voiceless. I was at a loss ... ...
The second time, I rest at home during the day, is the Internet, when heard from the kitchen there is voice, I simply went over to one look, turned out to be a thief pry my anti-theft doors and windows. Me out of a chopper went over to him: "are you going to do, do not walk on my alarm." That thief calmly put away tools, then releases a word to me: "You sick Yes, someone at home , to be a voice of it! Busily ating work white victims of Lao Tzu for a long time. "Having turned away. Dumbfounding me ... ...

Third, I am a person walking in the street, a 15, six-year-old little boy out of my pocket, I turned to him: children out what. "Nonsense, of course, is money," replied the child. I think he was a child, on the bluff, he said: "I do not have the money, you do not come out, otherwise you go to send the Public Security Bureau." Kids stare at me: "You do not have the money, but also what terrible terrible!" Say End of a huff and gone, I was speechless gas!

Answer 3

打开google有翻译功能

Answer 4

笨!用谷歌翻译不就行了。