第1个回答 2007-07-03
1."I was happy at that time" 中that time是那个时候，这里不能用的。
I was very happy.就好了
2."But all of teacher said" 应该是teachers, all of 后面的可数名词应该用复数
3. such as和and so on用一个就够了
4.while改为but
5.must改为have to强调不得不
6.However today is hard and tired不对,改为I am hard and tired today.
7.havrested用在这里不对,用got
8.chat改成过去式
9.sorrpw应为sorrows
9.Finally I sleeped,and i had a great time today.
第2个回答 2019-08-12
22:13
2008-3-7
Friday
March
7th.
2008
warm
The
weather
has
became
warm,and
the
horrible
and
cold
winter
has
been
far
away
from
us.
It
must
be
the
coldest
winter
I
have
ever
come
across,I
really
do
hope
it
would
never
come
back
.
Although
the
cold
weather
has
been
left,but
my
studing
go
on
none
the
less.
Today
maybe
a
bad
day
for
somebody,as
it
is
the
day
that
our
achievement
of
the
simulant
examination
is
coming
out,however,for
me,today,
it
was
an
indeed
changeling,on
the
one
hand,I
was
rather
fear
about
the
achievement,on
the
another
hand,I
still
want
to
know
my
achievement
hopefully....
Finally,I
know
all
of
my
achievement,which
would
be
a
sad
memory
spring
into
my
mind,I
was
indeed
down,not
only
the
achievement,
but
also
it
would
indeed
disappoint
my
techers
severely
,who
support
me
greatly.However,what
I
want
to
say
isn's
sorry,I
assure
that
I
must
do
well
in
next
time,please
believe
me
again,in
this
month
I
waste
too
much
time
playing
games
and
doing
other
things
.Now,i
have
given
up
these
my
bad
habits
,what's
more,i
have
made
myself
schedule,i
must
cultivate
myself
in
the
nature
of
industry,it
will
give
me
a
lot
help,i
have
took
note
earnestly,i
expect
everyone
just
believe
me
again.
now,i
am
burning
,i
believe
i
can
understand
it
,yes,i
can
do
it.
真的不得不说看你日记好累哦，又不是写中文，你一个意思用不同的词汇来表示，说明你有文采，英语一直一个意思（相信我，给我个机会），就有一直繁琐，好啰嗦的感觉，一个意思最好还是用不同的词，简单明了表示就好了。
第3个回答 2007-07-03
改后为:
Today......I was happy at that time,however all of my teachers were emphasizing the importance of time managing for the summer.So I decided to improve some of my subjects such as....
改不下去了。简直写的很糟糕。。。
1。错词，还有些连句子都不是
2。逻辑混乱。
3。连接词乱用。在日记中连接词起到着至关重要的位置。
4。主题不清晰虽然说日记，但也得有个侧重点
第4个回答 2007-07-03
Today is the first day of the summer holiday.I am very happy. But all teachers say :"It's important to study in this summer holidady." So I am going to come over some subjects ,such as Chinese,maths,Englishi and so on. And I want to improve my computer skill,while I must do my homework.Although today I am tired I am very happy because I have havrested knowledge and experience. Then I chat with my friends at night,sharing happiness and sorrow of today .Finally I am sleepy. I hope I can have a good dream.本回答被提问者采纳