英语作文批改,请指出语法以及句型错误,还有是否偏题,谢谢!

大学英语4级考试
题目:1,目前有不少大学请明星当客座教授
2,对这一现象,人们·看法不同
3,我的看法
Hiring celebrities as visiting professors
During these days,There are so many universities which invite hiring celebrities as visiting professors.As a highest educational institution of china,This phenomenon has caused much attentions from society.
Some people say hiring celebrities are the people who are liked by students.If universities add this kind of activities ,There is no doubt universities will be a place
which is more closed to students life.But others disagreed,They argued our students should learn knowledge from universities,Not how beautiful we are able to be.
As a university student,I think inviting hiring celebrities as visiting professors maybe a better way,But we also change a litter,Maybe we should pay attention to the difficulties which hiring celebrities meet and there own way to success.If we do like this,Both sudents and adults will be satisfied.

  During these days, there are so many universities which invite hiring celebrities as visiting professors.

 

【点评】

 

    删除 during,或者改为 recently(最近)或in the near future(近来的一段时期)

    there 小写

    so many改为 good/pretty many、quite a few或 a certain nimber of

    invite hiring celebrities说不通,或者删除 hiring直接说“邀请名人”,或者改为hire celebrities表示“聘用名人”

 

  As a highest educational institution of china, this phenomenon has caused much attentions from society.

 

【点评】

 

    高等教育学校的通用说法是higher educational institution, 或者改为institution of higher learning(高等学府)

    much attentions 改为much attention

 

  Some people say hiring celebrities are the people who are liked by students.

 

【点评】动名词hiring celebrities是一种行为,不能用people作表语,可以修改如下:

 

    hiring celebrities is a good plan which is supported by students(聘用名人是受到学生用户的良策)

    celebrities are so popular as to be liked by students. 

 

  If universities add this kind of activities, there is no doubt universities will be a place which is more closed to students life.

 

【点评】

 

    add … activities用词不当,改为carry out such an act(实施这种举措);

    there is no doubt 后是主语从句,不能省略关联词 that

    从句中的universities 与上文重复,改用人称代词they 指代

    主语universities 是复数,表语place需要用复数呼应。

    students life 改为students’s life

 

  But others disagreed, they argued our students should learn knowledge from universities, not how beautiful we are able to be.

 

【点评】

 

    此处添加过渡句 on the other hand

    用过去时态表示曾经有过,现在可能不存在了,需要改为现在时

    others disagree with it

    用and或分号并列下一句

 

  As a university student, I think inviting hiring celebrities as visiting professors maybe a better way,

 

【点评】

 

    inviting hiring celebrities 删除inviting 或hiring

    maybe 是副词,不能作谓语动词,改为 may be

 

  But we also change a litter, maybe we should pay attention to the difficulties which hiring celebrities meet and there own way to success.

 

【点评】

 

    litter 是“垃圾”,是不是想说change a little,不过意思晦涩,是否改为 we also have another suggestion 

    后面句子同样意思晦涩,根据上下文,是否改为we should pay attention to the advantage that hiring celebrities can meet students’ need to their success (聘用名人能够满足学生走向成功的需要)

 

全文修改

 

  These days, there are good many universities which invite/hire celebrities as visiting professors. As a institution of higher learning of China, this phenomenon has caused much attentions from society. Some people say hiring celebrities is a good plan which is supported by students. If universities carry out such an act, there is no doubt that they will be a places which are more closed to students’ life. On the other hand, others disagree with it; they argue our students should learn knowledge from universities, not how beautiful we are able to be. As a university student, I think inviting celebrities as visiting professors may be a better idea. But we also we also have another suggestion, that is maybe we should pay attention to the advantage that hiring celebrities can meet students’ need to their success. If we do like this, both sudents and adults will be satisfied.

温馨提示:答案为网友推荐,仅供参考
第1个回答  2012-10-14
1.caused改成attracted,
2.attentions去掉s,
3.students后加'
4.disagreed去掉ed
5.argued去掉ed

6. ,Not改成,not.
7. better改成good,
8.there改成their
第2个回答  2012-10-17

    推荐答案里面的这一句this phenomenon has caused much attentions from ...的attention 应该是单数,因为它是不可数名词。

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