雅思写作范文及学生习作评析

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以下是一篇雅思写作范文以及一篇学生习作,并附有评析:题目:年轻人是否应该从事志愿工作?ModelEssay:Inrecentyears,therehasbeenagrowingtrendamongyoungpeopletoengageinvolunteerwork.Whilesomemightarguethatthiskindofworkisawasteoftime,Ibelievethatitcanhavenumerousbenefitsforbothindividualsandsocietyasawhole.Firstly,volunteeringcanprovideyoungpeoplewithvaluableexperienceandskillsthatcanhelpthemintheirfuturecareers.Forexample,volunteeringatahospitalcanprovideyoungpeoplewithfirsthandexperienceinhealthcare,whilevolunteeringatacommunitycentercanhelpthemdevelopleadershipandorganizationalskills.Moreover,volunteerworkcanbeagreatadditiontoaresume,demonstratingthattheindividualisproactiveandmotivated.Secondly,volunteeringcanhaveapositiveimpactonthecommunity.Whetherbyhelpingtoimprovethelocalenvironmentorbysupportingasocialcause,youngpeoplecanmakearealdifferencethroughtheirvolunteerwork.Additionally,volunteeringcanhelpfosterasenseofcommunityandunity,bringingtogetherpeoplefromdifferentbackgroundsandwithdifferentperspectives.Finally,volunteeringcanbepersonallyfulfillingforyoungpeople.Engaginginvolunteerworkcanprovideyoungpeoplewithasenseofpurposeandaccomplishment,astheyseethepositiveimpactthattheyaremakingintheworld.Moreover,volunteerworkcanbeagreatwayforyoungpeopletomeetnewpeopleandformmeaningfulconnectionswithothers.Inconclusion,whiletheremaybesomewhoarguethatyoungpeopleshouldnotengageinvolunteerwork,Ibelievethatthebenefitstobothindividualsandsocietyaretoogreattoignore.Byprovidingvaluableexperienceandskills,makingapositiveimpactonthecommunity,andcreatingpersonalfulfillment,volunteerworkcanbeawonderfulwayforyoungpeopletogivebackandmakeadifference.StudentEssay:Somepeoplebelievethatvolunteeringisawasteoftimeforyoungpeople.However,Ithinkthatitcanbeagoodwayforthemtolearnnewskillsandmakeadifferenceintheircommunities.Firstly,volunteeringcanhelpyoungpeoplegainvaluableexperience.Forexample,workingwithanimalsatasheltercangivethemknowledgeaboutanimalcarethatcanbeusefulinthefuture.Additionally,volunteeringcanhelpthemlearnvaluableskillssuchasteamworkandcommunication.Secondly,volunteeringcanhaveapositiveimpactonthecommunity.Forinstance,iftheyvolunteerinalocalpark,theycanhelpcleanuptheparkandmakeitanicerplaceforeveryonetoenjoy.Furthermore,volunteeringcanhelpyoungpeopledevelopasenseofresponsibilityandmakethemmoreawareoftheneedsofothers.Finally,volunteeringcangiveyoungpeopleasenseoffulfillment.Whentheyseethattheireffortsaremakingarealdifferenceintheworld,itcanmakethemfeelgoodaboutthemselvesandtheircontributionstosociety.Inconclusion,volunteeringisnotawasteoftimeforyoungpeople.Itcanhelpthemgainvaluableexperience,makeapositiveimpactintheircommunities,andprovidethemwithasenseoffulfillment.Youngpeopleshouldconsidervolunteeringasawaytolearnnewskills,helpothers,andmakeadifferenceintheworld.Analysis:Themodelessayclearlyandconciselyaddressesallaspectsofthetopic,offeringspecificexamplesandsupportingevidence.Thewritingiswell-organizedandusessophisticatedvocabularyandsentencestructures.Thestudentessay,ontheotherhand,islessdevelopedandcontainsmoregeneralizationsandvaguelanguage.Whilethestudentpresentssomevalidpoints,theydonotprovideenoughspecificexamplesandcouldbenefitfrommoredevelopment.Additionally,thewritingcouldbeimprovedwithbetterorganizationandastrongeruseoflanguage.
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