高中作文,求批改,点出语法错误和更好的英语表达,另外为什么我一写起句子来一会儿往右偏,一会儿又不偏

如题所述

楼主的语言功夫还是比较出色的,就是有点小地方要修改下。第一,是everyone has his or her own dream. 后面的the same to me可以改成so do I.后面的那句话,楼主是想说让我们的国家变得更自由吧?但是freedom是名词,make our ountry后面要接的是形容词。不如这样改吧:to make our country more stronger and the people of our country have more freedom.最新的消息是lattest news。后面有friction的那句,是想说很关注中国同别国的摩擦么?那样的话请加上主语,I am very concerned about the frictions between China and other countries.最重要的一点这句话,直接用Most important,或者last but the most,又凑字数又不俗。devoted-heart这句,后面应该是to contribute our country。countribute是及物动词不用加to的。后面“还有很长的路要走”,用there be的句型请不要把be动词省略了~是there is still a long way to go。其他的就木有什么啦。给楼主一个小小的建议,字迹一定要写清楚哦,不然判卷子的时候老师很容易因为看的太快而猜不对您的词义,因此扣了冤枉分。这也可以给老师留下好的卷面印象。
希望楼主能够学习进步~
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第1个回答  2013-06-05
everyone has his dream 主谓一致
the same 改成 it is the same 并列结构 主谓一致
freedom 改成free adj.
struggled 原文中拼写错了
lasted 改成 latest adj.最新的
there still a long way to go 改成 there is still a long way to go

希望能够帮助到你 欢迎采纳
第2个回答  2013-06-05
As we all know,everyone has dreams.So it's the same to me .My dream is to become the president of China in the future,to make our country much more freer and stronger.

Over the 3 years,I have try to stick to my dream in many ways.For example,I insist to reading newspaper and televsion news to understand our country and society .It is really usefull for me to get such knowledge.Of cause,to make my dream come true,I have to study very hard everyday all the time ,especially in the futue.
Although it is a very hard and long road for me to achieve my dream,I will face any difficulties in my way bravely and confidently,and do what I can do to make it .As long as I believe it ,I will be a good president in a day.注意形容词的比较级,用词不要啰嗦,特别特别是你的卷面和字迹啊,祝高考顺利
第3个回答  2013-06-05
the same-----it is same;more freedom----more free;lasted news------lattest news;there still a long way ------there still BE a long way
有时一个单词从中拆开了。慢慢写。
第4个回答  2013-06-05
My Dream

It's true that everyone has a dream. My dream is to become the president of our country and make our country more powerful with better freedom.
I have been improving myself for the pass three years. For one thing, I have developed a habit of reading newspapers everyday, both local news and international news. This keeps me well informed and tells me what is happening in other countries. For another, I study hard and always keep a devoted heart for the country.
Of course, it is not easy for me to achieve the dream. There will be a long way to go. However, I will make more efforts and make myself qualified for the position. I believe that as long as I keep on, my dream will finally come true!本回答被提问者采纳
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