有没有搞笑的鬼故事(英文)短点的

如题所述

三个鬼的投诉

有一天他们在逛街的时候遇到了上帝!他们对上帝说,他们都死得很惨,希望让他们上天堂!上帝很无奈地说,现在天堂的住户太多,已经爆满。但现在还有一个名额!你们 说吧,看谁死得最惨,就让谁上天堂!

于是,第一个鬼开始说了……我生前是一个清洁工。工作很辛苦的!从早忙到晚!有一天,我正在一栋大厦外面擦玻璃!是那种吊在外面的高空危险工作!在第30多楼!突然,我 脚一滑,失足掉下去了!我想,完了!要死了!但求生本能让我在无意识地乱抓!很幸运 地,我抓住了一个阳台的栏杆,在13楼。我想,有救了!于是想等缓过劲后爬上去!哪知,突然有人把我的手一揎,我又掉下去了!我想,这下我真的完了!但是,我命不该 决,底下有一个帐篷接住了我,我庆幸前世肯定积了德!想等缓过劲就下去。谁知,上面 掉下来一个冰箱,把我砸死了!

第二个鬼说……我生前是一个文员。什么都还好,我有一个老婆,很漂亮。身材很棒! 但就是有点水性扬花。我有轻微的心脏病。有一天上班忘了带药,我回家去拿。一进门, 看见老婆头发散乱、衣衫不整。肯定有奸夫。于是我满屋找,厨房也找,厕所也找,都没 找到。到了阳台,我发现有两只手扒在栏杆上,我想:奸夫!于是把他的手一揎。心想,13楼!看摔不死你!结果等我一看,居然没死!被帐篷接住了!我着急,于是满屋找,进了厨房,发现冰箱够 大,于是把冰箱扔下去。终于把他砸死了!我当时太高兴了!大笑不止。谁知笑得心肌埂塞,笑死了!

第三个鬼说……我生前是个小混混,但我没做过什么坏事!有一天我到一个女性朋友家里晃!刚刚办完事,她老公突然回了!我得找地方藏起来。于是厨房也找,厕所也找,最后发现他们家冰箱挺大的,于是我就躲进冰箱里去了!我就不明白,她老公怎么知道我在冰 箱里,他居然把冰箱从13楼给扔下去了!我就这样连人带冰箱摔死了
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第1个回答  2013-06-26
阿迪广告---你被耍了,每当我考试,砍下八九十分,在考场上随心所欲地发挥,拿下两届得分王。你还真以为那是我一个人干的?不过说真的,考试是一帮人的。。。。信不信,由你。
35秒13分麦迪时刻---期中考试考场。。。不对,是期末考试,离交卷时间还剩下不到20分钟,麦迪打算作弊。系主任就站在他的旁边,瞎扯,是校长~随便吧,反正他把纸条穿了出去。。。还剩下10秒,麦迪拿到了答案!最后3秒,他还需要一到填空题!答案传过来了,整个考场都试图阻止他!但他抄了起来——是左手!天哪!连老天都感动得哭了。但那张纸条上写着:我也不会。。。是的,当时就是这样。。。
第2个回答  2013-06-26
有一个人在晚上12点的时候他照着镜子梳了12下,后来听见啊的一声。是什么?头皮屑。
第3个回答  推荐于2018-04-25
Nobody from the village would go near the crossroads after midnight. Everyone said the place was haunted. Lots of people said they had seen a white figure there---a horrible one-eyed woman with a big black cat. One night, Tom and Mick were in the village pub having a drink. They were tlaking about the ghost at the crossroads. "I don't believe in ghosts," said Tom. "I bet you won't go to the crossroads, by youself, after midnight," said Mick. Tom laughed and said, "I'll go---if you will." So the two men agreed to meet at midnight at the crossroads. Tom wanted to play a trick on Mick. He went to the crossroads just before midnight. He took a bag of flour and put it all over his face and hair and clothes. Then he sat down on a big stone by the crossroads and waited. It was a very dark night. As the village clock struck twelve, Tom could hear Mick coming down the road. But he could not see him. Then he heard Mick calling, "Tom, Tom are you there?" Tom didn't speak. He sat on the stone, very still and very white. When Mick came close enough to see Tom, he took one look and ran off down the road screaming, "Help!Help! I've seen a ghost!" Tom laughed so much he fell off the stone. Early the next day, Tom went down to Mick's house. Mick was in the kitchen. He had locked all the doors and windows. He had a shot-gun on the table. He opened the door and let Tom in. Then he locked the door again. He was tired and frightened. He had not been to bed. "Well,"said Tom trying not to laugh, "did you see the ghost last night?" "Oh yes,"whispered Mick, "I saw her as plain as day." Then Tom said, "You fool! That was me you saw sitting on the stone by the crossroads!" "Oh yes," said Mick, "I saw you on the stone, and I also saw that evil one-eyed witch with her cat,standing right behind you." When he heard this, Tom went quite white, as if someone had dusted his face with flour本回答被网友采纳
第4个回答  2018-04-25
有一个火柴,他走啊走,觉得很冷。结果,他把自己给点了。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
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