雅思高手帮我改下这篇作文好么,给打个分,说说需要改进的地方。我快考试了,大家帮帮忙~

Student from rural areas often find it difficult to access to university education, so people think universities should make it specially esay for them to study at. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is ture that there has been big gap between urban areas and rural area. Regardless of economy, transportation, entertainment, etc.especially in terms of education, rural area usually lack of advanced facilities and teacher resources to access to high level education. Some people think universities ought to let courses much easier for students from rural areas while others disagree this point of view.
Universities are the places where for fair competition. Every student experienced college entrance examination. One university has the same enrollment mark for those students who come from urban areas and rural areas. It is obviously that rural areas students have study ability like urban students. More specifically, decreasing the difficulties of course for rural areas students is an unfair measure for other sudents,which rural areas students can pass theeaxm easily but others cannot. Furthermore, uniiversities make education easier for rural areas students is not only irresponsible but also let them loose enthusiasm of study. That is say universities do not teach equal knowledge to all students and rural areas students don’t acceptted enough knowledge. Also, they will be addictted into pc games or internet if final exams can be passed easily. That result in becoming depraved.
Admittedly, most rural areas students have their own difficulties in terms of money. Universities should ruduce tuition fee to extent for them or set up scholarship toencourage them studing hard. These measures are more resonable relative to making education easier.
In conclution, universities must in consideration of both urban areas students and rural areas students even though rural areas sre undeveloped and backword. Finding appropriate measures is important for all students to promote their physial, mental and emotional development.
谢谢

(题目哪来的?怎么感觉题目就语法错蛮多的?)Student from rural areas often find it difficult to access to university education, so people think universities should make it specially esay for them to study at. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is ture that there has been (a)big gap between urban areas and rural area(s). Regardless of economy, transportation, entertainment, etc.especially in terms of education, rural area usually lack (of去掉) advanced facilities and teacher(为teaching才对) resources to (get)access to high level education. Some people think universities ought to let(改为make,let不妥) courses much easier for students from rural areas while others disagree (加介词啊!!!!on)this point of view.
(仅仅改了些语法错误,用词什么的逻辑什么的就不多加斟酌了)
Universities are the places where(where有用么?这里哪来从句?去了!) for fair competition. Every student (must have)experienced college entrance examination(s). One university has the same enrollment mark(改为standard吧,用mark太中国式) for those(those累赘,你用来强调什么的?还是你中文习惯说“那些个”?) students who come from urban areas and rural areas. It is obviously(ly去了,加ly就变副词了) that rural areas(areas去掉,不然就合成为rural-area) students have (the same)study ability like(改为 as) urban students. More specifically, decreasing(decrease没有使动的意思,改为reducing) the difficulties of course(复数s) for rural areas (areas去掉) students is an unfair measure for other sudents,which(改为 for) rural areas students can pass the eaxm easily but others cannot. Furthermore, uniiversities make education easier for rural areas students is not only irresponsible but also let them loose enthusiasm of study. That is say universities do not teach equal knowledge to all students and rural areas students don’t acceptted enough knowledge. Also, they will be addictted into pc games or internet if final exams can be passed easily. That result in becoming depraved.
Admittedly, most rural areas students have their own difficulties in terms of money. Universities should ruduce tuition fee to extent for them or set up scholarship toencourage them studing hard. These measures are more resonable relative to making education easier.
In conclution, universities must in consideration of both urban areas students and rural areas students even though rural areas sre undeveloped and backword. Finding appropriate measures is important for all students to promote their physial, mental and emotional development.

改了一半,基本过不了5分。顶多4.5吧。基本功太薄弱,语法知识太欠缺,通篇是中国式思维加雅思难词的不合理堆砌。还是加强语法训练和英式思维的培养吧。大约是初中生的一般水平。
温馨提示:答案为网友推荐,仅供参考
第1个回答  2010-11-06
楼上太伤人。
相似回答