请大家帮忙改英语日记！感激不尽！

Question

我是自学，学了大概半个月了，有人说坚持每天写英语日记可以提高写作水平，所以我也学着写了写……也许狗屁不通……但是请大家千万别笑话……
请高手指点，谢谢！！！

July 13th,2010
Country roads,Take me home
Today,I heard a song.It’s《Country roads,Take me home》.It’s very beautiful and I’m very moved.And it remind me of myhometown， my family,my friends ,the hills and rivers.I haven’t seen my father and mother for long,I miss them very much. In the silent mid night,I often remember my friends.But now,everynoe be busy all days long. Sometimes，I would think of “How long we met before?”But,I'm not remember it!
We as busy as bees and aways forgot telepnoed parents.Maybe,we must go home and see the parents.
Well,if you comeing home,you can listen to this song on the way,the song is Country roads,Take me home.it’s very very beautiful,trust me.

2010年7月13
今天我听了一首歌，这歌的名字叫《乡村之路，带我回家》。这歌非常动听，让我很感动，它使我想起我的家乡，我的家人，我的朋友，家乡的山和水……
我已经很久没见过我的父母了，我很想念他们。夜深人静的时候，我总是想起我的朋友们（在家乡的朋友们，我不知道怎么表达），有时候，我会想“我和我的朋友们多久没见面了？”但是，我想不起来了。
我们总想密封一样忙碌，总是忘记给父母打电话，也许，我们应该回家去看看他们。
如果你回家的话，在路上的时候你可以听听这首歌，这歌就是《乡村之路，带我回家》，它真的非常非常好听，相信我。

谢谢大家了……谢谢……

Answer 1

Today, I heard a song. It's《Country roads,Take me home》. It's very beautiful and I'm very moved.
And it remind me of myhometown, my family, my friends, the hills and rivers.
这里remind应该跟前文统一时态，改为过去式reminded。

I haven't seen my father and mother for long, I miss them very much. In the silent mid night, I often remember my friends.
But now, everynoe be busy all days long.
“everynoe be”这里应该用第三人称is，改为“everynoe is”。
“整天”是all day long，day不是复数。

Sometimes, I would think of“How long we met before?”[这句话是想说“我们从前什么时候见过”吧，那应该是When did we meet before?]
这里应该去掉think后的of，think of是想一下、想起的意思，单用think才是想。
"How long we met before?" 这句话是想说“我们从前什么时候见过”吧，那应该是When did we meet before?

But, I'm not remember it!
remember是一个实意动词，否定应该在其前加do not而非am not。

We as busy as bees and aways forgot telepnoed parents.
We后面应该有系动词are。
既然是陈述现状，直接用现在式forget最好了。
forget是动词，后面不能在直接接一个动词，要改成动名次，可以写forgot telephoning。

Maybe, we must go home and see the parents.

Well, if you comeing home, you can listen to this song on the way, the song is Country roads, Take me home.
前半句应为“if you are coming home”，加系动词才能成句，come的分词形式应该去掉e。
还有，这是两句话，on the way后面的逗号要改成句号。

对了，英文标点符号后面一般都要加个空格的。

楼主自学半个月就达到这个水平真是太令人佩服了！

Answer 2

Very well written. 写得很好!

我的评论:

"July 13th,2010
"Country roads,Take me home"

Today,I heard [ listened to ] a song.It’s《Country roads,Take me home》.It’s very beautiful and I’m very moved [touched].[The song]And it remind [reminded] me of my hometown，family,friends ,the hills and rivers.I haven’t seen my father and mother [parents] for [a] long,[ . ]I miss [missed] them very much.

In the silent midnight,I often remember [think of ] my friends.But everyone be [is] busy all days long. Sometimes，I would think of [the length of time we have not met each other.] “How long we met before?”But,[ I could not recall.]I'm not remember it!
We [are]as busy as bees and always forgot [forget to telephone the] telepnoed parents.Maybe,we [should] must go home and [to] see [them].the parents.

Well,if you comeing [ are coming] home,you can listen to this song on [along] the way --the song is "Country roads,Take me home".It’s very, very beautiful.trust [Believe] me."

"trust me" =信任我.