<悬赏100积分>求一英语话剧剧本，剧本3人演，时间以8分钟为宜，内容简单幽默

Question

原创优先录取，要积分的速度

Answer 1

荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本
旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.
妻子:"I promise."
荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
想要更多百度消息说

Answer 2

女儿：S
父亲：F
母亲：M

场景1：
S:Morning mom.
M: moruing dear.
M:Why don't you sit down and eat your breakfast?
S:ok.
M:Did you finish your homework dear?
S:yes
M:Did you brush your teeth?
S:mom,I haven't finished eating breakfast yet.I'll brush my teeth when I'm down.
M:Sandy,What's wrong with you arm?
S:nothing...
M:Come here. Let me see. Sandy,you have tattoos?
S:No! this is a picture I was draw. Look! Clean! not really tattoos.
M:Sandy, I'm sure it's not good for you.I've seen other teenagers walking around town with tattoos and prercings
all over their bodies.they are not good students.I can't believe you have same with them.
S:mom,it's so cool in our school.My peers say the tattoos is very beautiful,and I think it's art.
M:Tattoos is art?my god... Now, I don't have time to talk with you.I'm late,I've got to go.Tonight we must have
family meeting to discuss your mind,it's the biggest problem with you.
S:What's wrong with my mind?You don't understand me!

(S:照镜子，听音乐，打电话）

场景2：
F:Sandy,Why don't you go to school?
S:I'm free this morning.
F:You always take a phone with your friend.It's waste too much time for youself,and you never talk about study,
your topic usually about makeup,music,chothing and "What's cool".
S:(对电话里说）"call me later" Dad,I'm fifteen.I have my mind.I'm old enough to make a decision with my time and
what should I do.I'm not a baby!
F:I'm not agree with you.we should discuss about you.
S:Oh...again... Why do you baffle me?
F:What?
S:Nothing...

(S: Hello,yes!I'm free...ok,see you later.)

场景3：
M:I think arm with tattoos is terriable.Is so danger that you can't change your mind.
F:But the tattoos not ture,(S:点头）too much phone is the biggest problem.
M:Dear,she is not alone,she want communicate with each other is good.
F:Phone waste too much time!
S:Now, the biggest problem is quarrel,not me....

翻译：场景1 ：
问：早上妈妈。
男：今天上午亲爱的。
男：你为什么不坐下来吃饭的早餐？
问：确定。
男：你完成你的功课亲爱的？
问：是
男：你刷牙？
问：妈妈，我还没有吃完早餐yet.I ，我刷我的牙齿当我下来。
男：沙地，有什么不好你胳膊？
问：什么...
男：来这里。让我看看。沙地，您有纹身？
S模式：不！这是一个图片我是抽奖。看！清洁的！没有真正纹身。
男：沙地，我相信这不是好you.I都有看到其他青少年走动镇纹身和prercings
所有他们的bodies.they不好students.I不能相信你有与他们相同。
问：妈妈，这么酷的school.My同行说，纹身是非常漂亮，我认为这是艺术。
男：纹身是艺术？我的上帝...现在，我没有时间跟you.I '米晚了，我得go.Tonight我们必须有
家庭会议，以讨论您的想法，这是最大的问题与您联系。
问：有什么不好我心中？你不理解我吧！

（ S模式：照镜子，听音乐，打电话）

场景2 ：
传真：沙地，你为什么不去上学？
问：我今天上午免费。
传真：你总是需要一个电话与您friend.It的浪费太多时间为自己，你从来没有谈论研究，
您的主题通常化妆，音乐， chothing和“什么是酷” 。
问： （对电话里说） “后给我打电话”爸爸，我fifteen.I我mind.I '米，能够作出决定的时间和
我应该怎么do.I '米不是一个婴儿！
传真：我不同意you.we应该讨论你。
问：噢... ...再次你为什么要困惑我吗？
传真：什么？
问：什么...

（ S模式：您好，是的！我自由...没关系，回头见。 ）

场景3 ：
男：我觉得手臂刺青是terriable.Is如此危险，你不能改变您的想法。
传真：但是纹身不自然， （ S模式：点头）太多手机是最大的问题。
男：亲爱的，她并不孤单，她要互相沟通是好的。
传真：电话浪费太多时间！
问：现在，最大的问题是争吵，而不是我....
参考资料：翻译可能有点问题，楼主怎么的也得给个辛苦分吧.....

Answer 3

　《新梁祝外传》旁白：话说梁山伯和祝英台三年前一同来到刚刚成立的武汉新东方书院学习英语。梁山伯酷爱口语师从口语老师邓大付学习美国口语，尤其擅长模仿马丁?路德?金的演讲。(旁白暂停，邓英文“I have a dream ”)。祝英台一心梦想出国，梦想有朝一日成为BBC主持人(旁白暂停，祝英文“this is BBC….)最终祝英台以托福和GRE高分的成绩被哥伦比亚大学录取。在祝英台临走的那一天，梁山伯十八里相送在天河机场与祝英台缠绵告别。　　L: Yingtai ，I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.!　　Z: I love you, too! Don’t worry. Shanbo I only love you in this wild world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.　　L: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.　　Z: I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo　　旁白：一周以后，祝英台从美国打来越洋电话。　　L:Oh, Sweetie, Yintai I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?　　Z: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl.　　L: What? Pardon?　　Z: Because I’ll get married.　　L: Married ? to who?　　Z: To 英俊潇洒风流倜傥玉树临风的Ma Wencai.. He is so handsome. So rich, even richer than Yu Minhong. And he is good at 葵花宝典。I love his money and I love his body.　　L: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color to see see. I’ll kill you! I will kill you in America!　　Z: America? You can come to America? Hahahaha　　旁白：祝英台的无端背叛深深伤害了梁山伯脆弱的心灵，他发下毒誓：不杀祝英台誓不为人。于是重新来到新东方书院学习托福和GRE。当然他没有忘记用老生证可以优惠20块钱。为了能飞越重洋去杀掉祝英台，他每天提醒自己有一个梦想。　　I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.　　I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed:　We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai right in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart.　　旁白：一年之后，梁山伯也来到了美国，四处寻找祝英台的下落。终于在纽约街头找到他当年的爱人祝英台，而她正和马文才卿卿我我。　　L:Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, huh? Who am I ? I’m Liang Shanbo. I’m here to kill you.　　Z: Liang….shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.　　M: You! Get out of here.　　L: You! Get out of here!　　M: 电话来了。Hello, I’m in wuhan. Ok ok I’ll come right now　　Z: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me.　　M: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way..　　Z: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典?　　M: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典. I’m just good at 新华字典。　　Z: Oh,you liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh,darling, you must kill me?　　L: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.　　Z: (sing)When we were young, we listened to the MP三, you said you’d love me forever. Don’t kill me,ok? Shanbo. I qiu qiu ni..　　L: No door! (sing) Where you go, whatever you say, I’ll be right here killing you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.　　Z: 曾经Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it.If I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love him, I should say ten thousand years. That man is you The only man I love in this wild world is you. Only you.(sing)　　L: The only woman I want to kill is on-ly you!!　　Z: Please, you know I love you. I love you just like laoshu ai dami. I want to marry you.　　L: hehehe Really?　　Z: Oh, of course. Please don’t kill me!!!!　　L: To kill or not to kill is a question. I don’t know. Who can tell me? I put her life in your hands. Everybody here, please tell me kill or not kill?　　(to kill)　　L: You hear this. I ‘m sorry. But don’t worry , I’ ll go to heaven together with you.　　Z: All right kill me, then we’ll become two butterflies in the beautiful garden(sing)　　(sing)　　Z: 亲爱的你别杀我本杀了我你也没有好结果　　L： 亲爱的我也不想杀　　可是大家非得要我杀