第1个回答 2011-08-27
“我喜欢听音乐，我对信息技术很感兴趣，并且我对黑客技术和编程非常痴迷。”
那里的“I like to listening music”改为“I like to listen to the music”；“and i'm very interesting in information technology”改成“and i'm very interested in information technology”
“作为一个男人，我也对钱很感兴趣，所以我的梦想是成为一个富豪，一个世界级富豪”
这里的富豪最好不要用“rich man”，用“millionaire（百万富翁）”更好一点。句子最好也改成“I dream to be a millionaire”。
最后问题大条了。。。我自己给你写一句吧，In order to make my dream come true，I will keep going and never give up.意思就是为了让我的梦想实现，我会一直努力下去并且从不放弃
希望采纳，谢谢！
第2个回答 2011-08-27
As a student of 17, you write quite well. Only a few corrections. Good luck.
Hello, everyone, my name is XXX, and now i'm 17 years old,
I like music, and i'm very interested in information technology, I‘m crazy about programming and hacking.
As a man, I'm also very interested in making money, my dream is to be a rich man, a world-class wealthy man like Bill Gates and Steve Paul Jobs.
In order to make my dream true,i will never give up and I will always try my best to be NO.1.本回答被提问者采纳
第3个回答 2011-08-30
我喜欢听音乐，我对信息技术很感兴趣，并且我对黑客技术和编程非常痴迷。
I like to listening music,and i'm very interesting in information technology,i'm crazy about programming and hack,
应改为：
I like to listen music, and I have a great interest in information technology. I'm crazy about hack and programming.
就像Bill Gates和Steve Paul Jobs一样，
like Bill Gates and Steve Paul Jobs,
应改为：
Just like Bill Gates and Steve Paul Jobs
为了我的梦想，我将永不言弃，迈向第一
In order to my dream,i will never say die ,to be NO.1.
应改为：
For my dream, I would never give up, towards the first.
第4个回答 2011-08-27
I like to listening music将to去掉。like Bill Gates and Steve Paul Jobs将and最好改为or。
希望我的建议对你有帮助！
第5个回答 2011-08-27
我喜欢听音乐
I like listening music 或者是 I like to listen music